Navigations are at the top.
okay.. its been awhile since i last post bout something. okay.. mid term exam is coming up next monday, which... is bout in 3 days time +/- and im actually stil slacking.
currently having high fever and flu. plus sore throat and all.. dang it~!! @.#
torture onli =.= sheesh~ nvm bout that.
well my head is stil slightly spinning now while im typing this. but nvm.. i'll just continue typing. just hopefully ntg will go wrong on the way bcoz seriously.. felt like i've lost my sense of brain functioning. lol.. ( is there even a word? hmmm..) o well.. everything felt like bouncing here and there.. anyway.. let's just stop crapping around.. lol.
okay.. i've got a feeling that this post is going to be real real long wan. so.. dun think that u readers would actually wanna continue reading this gua.. i think.. anyway......
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
okay.. i've.. uhh.. read the link in the chatbox few mins ago. at least i've FINALLY got the time to actually come on9 to check wat's going on. well.. im not sure who were those ppl. and even tho i had some names in mind but im not gonna assume that whether are u really that person.
well.. i guess.. im speechless. well.. i mean.. just like wat he had said.. its just a RANDOM POST. well.. everyone can junk bout watever they wanted in their post right? well.. even if its
referring to himself.. so wat? wat can we do? we cant do anything right? couldnt be taking a knife pointed under his chin and said that: "wat had u done to ur girl? go back to her bcoz she loves u so darn much so u have to love her back?"
well.. im sure that.. even tho its he, himself. he'll be thinking and he will choose between wat's right and wat's wrong for himself.. =) as for MY POSITION, i've just gotta trust him on that.
wait.. its not gotta its ALREADY.
somehow.. when sometimes when he does things.. he'll tell me. and that is when he build his
trust in me. =) which.. okay.. i admit. =.= last time, i think around jan or so.. well.. i used to doubt a lot. AS IN REALLY. im not that kinda girl that could really accept reality.
even sometimes.. i even wonder.. izit true that this sean chua dude actually choose me to be his girl? are we really together now in REAL LIFE? or am i stil dreaming in my once-in-a-blue-moon day-dream which.. nobody actually loves me or cared bout me. i mean.. as for in a relationship la..why? i mean.. his cool and all. there is one whole bunch loads of fishes out there waiting for him.. why choose ME?
-*~ a girl who is a NOBODY.
-*~ a girl that always failed in ALL her relationships
-*~ a girl that couldnt give her guy wat they wanted most and make them happy. and is this for real or for izit another kicks again?
more low~self~esteem thinking which is getting more more and MORE. lol.. guess he'd seen that
through all this while.hahaha. i think it kind annoyed him at times.
but when time passed, for a longer time. i actually realize that.. maybe i should start to think logically. stop thinking like some girl who couldnt love herself and always
put other in front more than herself. tho i stil do now. somehow.. i just couldnt change that
mindset. which.. is a good thing or bad leh? hmmm..
well.. its just part of life i guess.. things change and ppl change. it just whether u'll accept reality and make the used of it or just.. trap urself up. ur choice stil =) no one wil decide for u. decisions are stil in ur hand ;)
as for me? im alright bout the post actually =) tho for the first post.. the porky and fishy wat wat.. lol. that..honestly.. i doubt it at first. (bet u didnt know that huh babe?) but that was BEFORE when he actually told me that it was his fren. and yeah. i accepted it =) i trust him. and i know that he wasnt that kinda person who goes around my back. which god knows wat his doing. but well..if his going behind my back.. i aso dunno wat will happen actually. lol.
somehow..when he did things he'll let me know. and i really really do appreciate that. even small stuff =) bcoz.. u felt.. accepted and his telling u stuff automatically. better than u just sit at home and wonder wat his doing all day long, worrying and doubting. trust me.. some girls were like that if u boys were actually reading this =) this is one of the tricks. i guess.. =) anyway.. let's not get carried away.. obviously.. =.= starting cannot accept la. but well.. somehow time passed and soon.. u're okay with it. bcoz that is just who he really is. u cant change anything unless he wanted too. u have no rights to change a person unless that person wanted too..
by changing a person, u have to change urself first. bcoz.. imagine u, urself wasnt perfect ald. why wanna make ppl and expect ppl to go the way u wan them to be and satisfy ur needs? that would be the most selfishiest thing on earth. no?
wow.. this is long. i've never post so long b4. lol..
well lastly.. as for the ppl who read this. im not trying to put any blame on anyone or saying that wat u did is right or wrong. well.. maybe the blog did sounded like it's referring to him but well.. he did said no right? so trust him on this? please? and.. one more thing.
i appreciate that u guys actually cared. =) really. if i know who u were i'll give u a big bear hugz. but since.. i dun really know who u were might as well just *HUG* here lol.. i know that u're just trying to protect me. well.. im a big girl now. no? im seventeen this year. big enough to take care of myself. =) in a way or two. hahaha. but still.. big enough rightttttt????? and.. one request? no harsh word.
>< i dun wan anything to clush between my bf and my friends. peace? =)
oh? not forgetting. =) i actually shared a testimony this afternoon during thanks giving. was the onli teenagers that stand forward to actually voice out in front of 60 pairs of eyes looking right at ya. was the last called out too =)
and guess wat? my mum actually said that i looked like a form1 or 2 girl standing out there. =.= am i really that small and petit til like that meh? sigh..
after finished sharing.. the church hall actually clapped? few of the ppl back they didnt really clapped. weird.. somehow finished my story and they clapped. lol.cool huh? and trust me.. all are adults. onli two teenagers attended the thanks giving praying thingy. lol..
well.. im just doing my part. wanna let ppl, espectially the adults to know that.. wat had WE teenagers gone through and our needs that's all. its nice in a way or to that u share bout smtg with someone.. u know.. =)
dropped my favourite hair clip on the way home from church while im sitting a fren's motobike =( sob.. its cool sitting a motobike. but its not cool to lost ur favourite stuff. =(
got FEELING wan u know.. lol. (okay crap.. wat im talking =.=ll)
okay okay. >< ciao =")">
~GraceKoh~
~+*au revoir+*~